Plog arrow Plog
How doth the VAX's C compiler
Improve its object code.
And even as we speak does it
Increase the system load.

How patiently it seems to run
And spit out error flags,
While users, with frustration, all
Tear their clothes to rags.

Puniverse
Useful Home Remedies

1. If you’re choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat – use the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.

8. Remember – everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

9. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Daily Thought: Some people are like slinkies – not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs .


RIP
As I laid my breakfast out onto the plate the bacon rashers paired as angel wings, and my toast had an uncanny image of a fallen pop star, with egg yolk runny.

there_is_a_god_.jpg

My Kind Of Rrt
Kris Kuksi

Bob Log III ROCKS!
C & I went to see Bob Log III last night (Apr. 25th 09), there were a few old friends I haven't seen in a while there. On the way in I bumped into the Rev. John Jay Korvette who was on super secret security duty, he asked us if we'd like to meet him - " HELL YEAH " C & I replied, so we went into his VIP room hung out and had a beer with him before the gig- he loves his beer! - He was killer and ripped the hell out of that guitar.... he'll be back in the summer. C was in awe!


Asbestos!
asbestos1.jpg

4 Naked Chicks In A Jacuzzi
4_naked_chicks_in_a_jacuzzi.jpg

Sony
New F#@$1^& Product

TV News Anchors During Commercial Break

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The web helps you collect that which has already been collected.

Someday man should learn how to enjoy liberty without license, nourishment without gluttony, and pleasure without debauchery. Self-control is a better human policy of behavior regulation than is extreme self-denial.

My jokes are so lame I shot my horse.