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If God had really intended men to fly,
he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
		-- George Winters

Howard Stern (NSFW)

The web helps you collect that which has already been collected.

Someday man should learn how to enjoy liberty without license, nourishment without gluttony, and pleasure without debauchery. Self-control is a better human policy of behavior regulation than is extreme self-denial.

My jokes are so lame I shot my horse.