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Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics:
	1) An object in motion will always be headed in the wrong direction.
	2) An object at rest will always be in the wrong place.
	3) The energy required to change either one of these states
	   will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so
	   much as to make the task totally impossible.
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Someday man should learn how to enjoy liberty without license, nourishment without gluttony, and pleasure without debauchery. Self-control is a better human policy of behavior regulation than is extreme self-denial.

My jokes are so lame I shot my horse.