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Pascal, n.:
	A programming language named after a man who would turn over in
his grave if he knew about it.

As I laid my breakfast out onto the plate the bacon rashers paired as angel wings, and my toast had an uncanny image of a fallen pop star, with egg yolk runny.

The web helps you collect that which has already been collected.

Someday man should learn how to enjoy liberty without license, nourishment without gluttony, and pleasure without debauchery. Self-control is a better human policy of behavior regulation than is extreme self-denial.

My jokes are so lame I shot my horse.