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Cynic, n:
	A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are,
	not as they ought to be.  Hence the custom among the
	Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
		-- Ambrose Bierce
Its Good For You
Banned Commercial For Guinness
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Someday man should learn how to enjoy liberty without license, nourishment without gluttony, and pleasure without debauchery. Self-control is a better human policy of behavior regulation than is extreme self-denial.

My jokes are so lame I shot my horse.