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A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking
ticket and rejoices that the system works.

Should Have Bought...
A Black & Decker

The web helps you collect that which has already been collected.

Someday man should learn how to enjoy liberty without license, nourishment without gluttony, and pleasure without debauchery. Self-control is a better human policy of behavior regulation than is extreme self-denial.

My jokes are so lame I shot my horse.