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	"... The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!"
	"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to
feel interested.
	"No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little
vexed.  "That's what the name is called.  The name really is, 'The Aged
Aged Man.'"
	"Then I ought to have said "That's what the song is called'?"
Alice corrected herself.
	"No, you oughtn't:  that's quite another thing!  The song is
called 'Ways and Means':  but that's only what it is called you know!"
	"Well, what is the song then?" said Alice, who was by this time
completely bewildered.
	"I was coming to that," the Knight said.  "The song really is
"A-sitting on a Gate":  and the tune's my own invention."
		-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"

Pbrain's Kitchen
	(1)  Never eat on an empty stomach.
	(2)  Never leave the table hungry.
	(3)  When traveling, never leave a country hungry.
	(4)  Enjoy your food.
	(5)  Enjoy your companion's food.
	(6)  Really taste your food.  It may take several portions to
	     accomplish this, especially if subtly seasoned.
	(7)  Really feel your food.  Texture is important.  Compare,
	     for example, the texture of a turnip to that of a
	     brownie.  Which feels better against your cheeks?
	(8)  Never eat between snacks, unless it's a meal.
	(9)  Don't feel you must finish everything on your plate.  You
	     can always eat it later.
	(10) Avoid any wine with a childproof cap.
	(11) Avoid blue food.

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Camp Crab
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Someday man should learn how to enjoy liberty without license, nourishment without gluttony, and pleasure without debauchery. Self-control is a better human policy of behavior regulation than is extreme self-denial.

My jokes are so lame I shot my horse.